“DeeJays de Vinil Melhores a Estimular o Clitóris | Vinyl DJs Better At Stimulating The Clitoris” Claims Woman
A young
woman, who has had an opportunity to directly compare the sexual performances
of both digital and vinyl DJs, has claimed that vinyl only DJs are vastly
superior in their ability to stimulate the clitoris.
The
woman, 27 year old Samantha Chambers from Manchester, has claimed that
vinyl-only DJ’s, having spent years honing their beatmatching abilities by
employing a variety of gentle touchs to manipulate the speed of the record, are
able to make her achieve orgasm “within the amount of time it takes for them to
play an average length track”, or roughly five minutes.
“They’ve
developed a near perfect touch through years of gently queuing records in with
a variety of tiny pinches and almost affectionate clasps to the spindle to slow
down or increase the speed of a track,” gushed Samantha. “All that skill pays
off behind the decks, and in the bedroom. And probably when using chopsticks or
trying to catch flies in mid air. With chop sticks.”
Samantha
claims that this skill in the bedroom appears to be the sole reserve of vinyl
only DJs claiming that their digital counterparts “just elaborately tap around
my fanny without ever touching the clitoris” and that when they actually do
find it “they usually just press it once every few minutes”.
“The sex
with digital DJs is usually less honed than with vinyl DJs,” continued
Samantha, “they just want to get one sex act over and move onto the next one
without spending any time doing each thing – although they do spend an
inordinate amount of time twiddling my nipples, even though it does absolutely
nothing for me.”
“If I had
to have sex with a vinyl-only DJ or a digital then it’s no contest, I’ll pick
the vinyl DJ every time,” she concluded. “Of course vinyl only DJs aren’t the
best DJs to have sex with. That honour goes to a scratch DJ I met in Birmingham
one night whose hands were so dexterous and fast that it was like I was being
fingered by three, sometimes four, nimble little flesh dildos at once.”
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